Its been a while....

Sorry guys. Its been a while since Ive been on here. Ive been busy lately with work, stuff around the house and a new beau. He is a doll baby. Its kind of weird though......Im used to dating guys my age or older. This one is actually 19 (3 years younger than me) he doesnt really act like it though. Sometimes he even seems like a male version of me.....we just kinda think of some of the same things and are into some of the same things. He is really nice though so Im hoping it works out well. We have been seeing each other for a month and everything is good so far.
I have been doing a little research online about how to tell a male snake from a female. I guess there is a visual exam, popping and probing. I dont know any vet places around here that do reptiles, nor am I too keen on the idea of the "popping" technique (I really dont want to hurt orange-blossom) so I just did a visual and I think I may have a female! Which is cool because orange-blossom just sounds too feminine for a male lol. I really want to get my hands on a male and do some breeding. Ive been wanting to start a corn snake "farm", but I dont know if I will every get around to doing it.
Work has been going okay. One of the biggest stresses was fired. He was just doing things that he didnt need to be doing, he took off too many times. He had been warned many times, but I guess he thought that they would just let him off. He was caught twice in the back of the factory smoking and talking on his phone when he wasnt suppossed to be and they fired him because he was written up too many times for that. The supervisor seems to be in a much better mood lately since the "stress" is gone. Actually we all are.

Okay. Here it is :)

I decided to go with a red rose instead of a black one.

I could shoot myself though. I made the appointment for around 12:30 and went down to the studio......or the old location where Im used to going and noticed that they had relocated. So I went back home, called the studio's new number, appologised and got directions to the studios new location. The tattoo guy was really nice about it and laughed about it.

So here is my new tattoo.

A new tattoo in mind

Its been a little while since I got a tattoo so Ive made an appointment to get another one this weekend (tommorrow actually). Im planning on getting a rose tattooed on my chest.......not down by my breasts. It will be up closer to my collar bone. It will look close to the rose at the bottom of my blog page except it will be red with green leaves. Hopefully the tattoo guy can make it look close to a black rose since Ive always loved black roses so much. I saw a beautiful bouquet of them at Wal-Mart a month or two ago and they looked absolutely gorgeous with their black and red pettals that looked like velvet. I had to touch them to see if they were real! So that is what Im getting tattooed on the right side of my chest and maybe when I get the extra money I will have the other side of my chest done. Im also working on another oil painting. Im painting my little dog laying on a red colored blanket with a purple florol print curtain kind of draping to one side. Im not sure about the main back ground behind the dog though. I was thinking a cream color because it would look good with the reds and purples, but my dog is a creamy-apricot color and he kind of blends in with the background. Mum suggested gray, but I dont know how good that would look with other colors. Maybe I should just do the background black lol.

Blue, black and purple

Yeah, Im looking at this bruise on my knee from about.......2-3 weeks ago and it still looks nasty. It was a big bruise though and I did hit my knee pretty hard. What happened? Well, I was walking behind my machine at work and I just happened to nitice a spider walking across the floor right in front of my foot. It was not little spider. It was pretty good size! So I did the "OMG! A SPIDER! dance" (screaming and very quick foot work to move out of it's way). One of my co-wokers came up to see what was wrong and I poited at it and said "kill it!" several times.....Okay before I go any further you have to understand that I am deathly terriffied of spiders. If I see one I will sit on the other side of the room under a blanket, panicking and throwing things at it until someone comes and kills it. If no one is there I have to force myself to go at it with a shoe or a broom panicking the whole time. Well, my co-worker said "Oh, I saw him crawling over there (he pointed to a certain spot so many feet away) a couple minutes ago and hurried him along so he wouldnt get stepped on". I could have shot him lol! I noticed my friend, Dodie, comming toward me and thought she was going to step on it, but she bent down, grabed it by the legs and tossed it at me (just joking around) so I turned and hurried as fast as I could away and when i turned to run I ran my knee right into a pipe in my machine. It hurt bad! It was so sore for days and turned blue, black, purple, red and even had a little greenish color to the outsides of it. And it is still there. It doesnt look as bad as it did, but it is there.
Lately my supervisor's son has shown some interest in my friend who also works where I work. The supervisor's son just went from 2nd shift to 1st and has been talking to my friend. Our supervisor doesnt like this much and has been down my friend's back for the past week.......for that particular reason we are thinking. Our supervisor doesnt really like us that much. Me, because Im different and I dont kiss her butt. My friend, Steph, because.....well, Im guessing that our supervisor sees Steph as a weakling. No offence to Steph, but she is weak in some areas when it comes to our supervisor. She just doesnt want to get fired and who can blame her. She has a kid to take care of. She has also been having some major health problems and has had to take time off work because of it. And now since my supervisor's son is showing interest in Steph, the supervisor doesnt like her even more. Her and her son have even talked about it (Ive heared them) and she goes on "well, she has too many health problems. She isnt our religion". Just excusses. Besides, Steph has a boyfriend. Steph has left it up to me to save her. She doesnt want to hurt the son's feelings or be mean so if I notice him talking to her I am innocently going tosay something about her and her boyfriend comming over for a cook-out and hope that works. If the guy starts after me....well, Im single so Im screwed on a boyfriend excuse lol. Ive had one horrible boyfriend and one awful boyfriend so far so Im not really interested right now :)

NEED SOME A/C IN HERE!

Wow, it is around 90 degrees here in ohio, people and I am baking in this house! The heat has just knocked me out. I was supposed to clean up the house today after work, because my Nanny and Papaw (Mum's parents) are going to be here so I started cleaning and I got really hot and over did it and fell asleep on the couch where I was tormented constantly by my brother calling to see if his laundry was dry yet. Mum came home and she was pissed because there was still a little work to be done around the house and I was sleeping. Shes lucky. She got to be in air conditioning all day at her work place. Im stuck in the house (which is like an oven) with no air conditioning and Im slowly cooking plus I got a migrane comming on and thats not cool. I really feel sorry for my dog in this heat. He a little poodle and has that thick, curly poodle wool.....which is getting a bit long and I really need to take him to the groomer and get that cut off. I found my lost snake.......and I feel like an ass lol. I called my brother (who was at his friend's house) and appologized to him and he actually took it very well. I didnt raise his voice or call me names or anything. He was just like "Yeah, thats cool. Dont worry about it. It was nothing". Dad (of all people) found it. Im still not sure as to how exactly it got aout because I make sure that the lid is closed and the rocks I was keeping on the corners of the lid were in place, but it must have just found the tiniest little place to get out of. I was outside on the phone and Mum started yelling "Theres a snake in the bathroom! Come get it!" so I ran into Mum and Dad's bathroom and Dad was standing there pointing at it all like "I was sitting down to use to bathroom and I looked over and I thought it was a rubber snake so I was going to pick it up. Then it moved! What kind of snake is that? He's funny looking". Dad wasnt too upset about the snake. I went out to the pet shop the next day and bought like.....seven locking clips for the tank lid to keep it in place, plus I put some strips of Gorilla Tape on the sides.

Mirror Mirror

Days and weeks of suffering and this has come to pass.
She looks into her mirror and is instantly aghast.
She sees a hollow skeleton with pale skin stretched across.
She looks so frail and fragile from all the weight shes lost.
She was a vibrant spirit looking for something so grand.
Now shes just a fading light and all this for a man.
He will not love her, never love her all of this she sees.
Her heart breaks down and tears well up. She drops down to her knees.
Once a beauty now a walking corpse to look upon.
Look into her face you'll see her light is almost gone.

Whoa......

I got a call from my friend some days ago and her husband had caught a garter snake and wanted to know if I would care for it. On closer inspection of the snake I noticed it had a bite in its little tail. Im guessing something probably tried to eat it so Im caring for it right now.
Something tragic has befallen another one of my friends. A man that she grew up with was killed by a train (if youve read the Chronicle Telegram paper [Ohio] it was in there). Come to find out that the man was also my ex's best friend so him and my friend (his sistser) are both realy torn up about it. The man was just in a drunk rage and wasnt paying attention to the train moving in front of him and ran (on foot) right into it. What a horrible way to die! Ive been praying for them and Ive even tried to get a hold of my ex to see how he is holding up, but so far I havent heared anything from him. The really sad thing is that my ex seen it happen so those moments are burned into his mind. I just hope he doesnt try anything stupid like lock himself up in his room with a six-pack.

Such a crappy day

Well, my new corn snake has been stolen I believe. I went to feed him yesterday when I got home from work.....I had it's food ready for it and everything! I looked in the tank and I couldnt see it. I started picking up the rocks in the tank and nothing. I dug through all the reptile mulch and still nothing. Dug through it 4 times! I was so upset when I couldnt find it. I called my friend, Dodee, I called Mum. I almost had a panic attack from being upset. This is crazy! Someone in my house has taken it! Its the only way it could have gotten out! Its just a baby snake so it was too short to reach the lid, not strong enough to push the lid up, there were rocks in the corners of the lid to hold it down, i bought these locking clips for the lid so nothing could push it up from the inside and there are no holes in the tank where it could have crawled out! The only way it could get out is if someone took it out! Dad never goes in my room so he wouldnt have known about it, Mum said I could get another snake, so she wouldnt have taken it. My only other suspect is my brother. He is such a prick these days he wouldnt admit to it. I called him at his friend's house and he just laghed at me and said I probably had a hold in my tank. If I had door knobs with locks on them I guarantee that snake would still be in its tank. My brother either ran out of money or he is on something. Its the only thing I can think of. Its stupid! I cant even trust my own family members not to take my things!

Okay. Here it is!

Here is a picture of my new little one. It was taken outside the tank, because its still a little skidish and I didnt want to give it a heart attack.

Its not a very good picture, but you can see its kinda whitish-orange with darker orange spots. I actually did a little research and creamsicles are actually a hybrid cross between and albino corn snake and a rat snake. I still havent picked a name for it yet. I dont even know if its a boy or a girl.

UPDATE (7-22-07):
I named it Orange-Blossom after those orange and cream popsicles.

A new pet

Okay. Im crazy. I went out and bought a new pet. Not just any pet. A reptile pet, but not just any reptile. An orange creamsicle corn snake! I called around a few places to see if any pet shops had any corn snakes and one had a ghost and a classic and another shop had an orange creamsicle. A ghost corn snake would have been lovely, but my first corn snake love was a creamsicle so thats what I bought. I still havent picked a name for it yet. Im pretty much making a list which so far consists of: Citrine, Citra, Orange blossom, and Diable (french for devil [my last corn snake's name was diablo]), but I havent really decided. I will have to post pictures of the little darling later. Right now he/she is a little too shy to come out from under the reptile bark.

Cant go back

Ive decided that it probably wont work out between my ex and I. As much as I care about him I cant keep putting myself through the hurt and agrivation and it isnt fair of him to put me through it. He will probably go back to calling me all the time until something makes me decide to take his call or call him back. All I can do right now is pretend that I dont care. Its a real shame that it wouldnt work out, but I dont see much of a change in him at all. He still seems like the little boy that I dated before and I dont understand why he cant move on. His sister (one of my friends) thinks I put some kind of charm or spell on him that keeps him wanting me. I dont know about that one. I dont really know what to think. Part of my wants him, but the other part keeps saying "No, you silly girl. He just wants to use you. It will be the way it was when you were dating.". Things were so good when we first started dating.....for a few months anyway. He really wasnt appreciative of anything I did for him or bought for him. He doesnt even remember what I got him for Valentine's day and swears I didnt get him anything. If anyone of us didnt get anything from the other it was me. And he just stopped wanting to be around me and went God knows where all the time doing God knows what. I do know alcohol and drugs were involved and I dont really need that in my life. I just wish I could find a decent guy who was responsible, wasnt into drinking or drugs, appreciative, and caring. I wish he wouldve been more like that.

Again?

Well, my recent ex called yesterday while I was out and I decided to actually talk to him. Mum actually gave me the idea. I guess she figured that he must really want to talk to me and make things right if he kept calling as much as he did. So I decided to go see him and find out what he wanted. Things were very quiet. We sat up in his room and watched tv and talked during the commercials. He tried to be comforting and apologetic. Im not ready to get serious again especialy with someone who crossed me once. I figured I would atleast try to be his friend. If anything more than that happens it will be on me. If something goes wrong it will be my fault. He says he has changed......he hasnt had alcohol or pot in quite a while, but I dont know if I really swollow that easily. I will just have to keep a watch on it.

Rain of Loss

Raining inside my heart. Always so cold. Always so dark. Where have you gone to?
I try holding on to this feeling, but you slip away like water from my hands.
OOh, love, why did you leave me here feeling cold inside?
The rain keeps pouring down, drowning me.
How beautiful is the pain I feel like a rose in the dark.
Oh, my love, where have you gone? Am I left in the rain forever?

Oh my.....

Well, last night was interesting. I found out some stuff that my brother failed to tell me. Okay, last month he was arrested and had to pay a fine. He told me that some people he was with were drinking and fishing (but him and a few other guys werent drinking) and because they were all together the officer arrested all of them and suspended my bro's license (sp?) for....several months (he doesnt even have a permit). So I really didnt get why they would do that, but hey......its the police and I dont really understand why they do half the things they do. Last night I came home and mum was all "did you know your brother was arrested?" and I said yeah and told her what he told me. It seems he left out the part about the drugs and the pipe. The police had found drugs and when the guys wouldnt tell them who it belonged to the officer arrested them all. Mum is upset.....dad is upset......I am too. I just pretend not to be.
Lately it seems everything is just comming apart. My friends are growing apart from it it seems, mum isnt happy, dad wont pay her any "real" attention, and now this with my brother. I wish I could just stitch everything back together where it belongs, but it always seems as though I cant gather enough patches. I wish I could help mum and dad. I wish I could bring my friends closer to me again. I wish somehow I could get my bro out of this trouble.

Thoughts.....

So Im new to this site, Blogspot. Blog.......why does that sound yucky lol. Anyway, This is my first "blog" on here. So where should I start? Im just a regular person with a few interesting interests including music, body piercings, tattoos, art (drawing, painting.....) and corsetry.

My weekend was all right all except for the call from my recent ex. I broke up with him......a couple months ago and he keeps calling me and leaving me messages. Before anyone gets any thoughts I didnt break up with him because he wasnt fun or I didnt love him anymore. He was very fun and I loved him very much. I still cry when I hear his voice on my voicemail (sad isnt it?). I was just tired of being left alone all the time while he went out with his friends, got drunk and smoked God only knows what. For a full week he ignored me because he was busy getting trashed and he only saw me as a ball and chain. I didnt mind him hanging out with his friends I just wanted him to stay out of trouble, ya know. And then he started messing around with this very beautiful girl (yes, I will admit she was very pretty). As much as it hurt I broke up with him for my heart's sake. I was tired of hurting and crying and being alone. A month after breaking up with him.....after he blew me off to be with this other girl......after hearing nothing from him he finally calls me.....saying he misses me. Im sorry, but I cant go back to that. Every weekend he will call and leave a voice message which I try to delete before I can really hear it. I really wish he would just leave me alone and move on. He will only end up hurting himself and he is only keeping my wounds open. As soon as I think I can get on with my life there he is again and this is why my weekends usually arent as relaxing as I would like them to be. Four 10 hour days on concrete....standing in one place......I need to relax not be upset.
Even if I have a rat on my back I need to move on. Im still looking for someone. Im not sure how long its going to take to find them, but Im sure I will come across someone who will treat me right. And thats my thoughts.