Such a crappy day

Well, my new corn snake has been stolen I believe. I went to feed him yesterday when I got home from work.....I had it's food ready for it and everything! I looked in the tank and I couldnt see it. I started picking up the rocks in the tank and nothing. I dug through all the reptile mulch and still nothing. Dug through it 4 times! I was so upset when I couldnt find it. I called my friend, Dodee, I called Mum. I almost had a panic attack from being upset. This is crazy! Someone in my house has taken it! Its the only way it could have gotten out! Its just a baby snake so it was too short to reach the lid, not strong enough to push the lid up, there were rocks in the corners of the lid to hold it down, i bought these locking clips for the lid so nothing could push it up from the inside and there are no holes in the tank where it could have crawled out! The only way it could get out is if someone took it out! Dad never goes in my room so he wouldnt have known about it, Mum said I could get another snake, so she wouldnt have taken it. My only other suspect is my brother. He is such a prick these days he wouldnt admit to it. I called him at his friend's house and he just laghed at me and said I probably had a hold in my tank. If I had door knobs with locks on them I guarantee that snake would still be in its tank. My brother either ran out of money or he is on something. Its the only thing I can think of. Its stupid! I cant even trust my own family members not to take my things!

Okay. Here it is!

Here is a picture of my new little one. It was taken outside the tank, because its still a little skidish and I didnt want to give it a heart attack.

Its not a very good picture, but you can see its kinda whitish-orange with darker orange spots. I actually did a little research and creamsicles are actually a hybrid cross between and albino corn snake and a rat snake. I still havent picked a name for it yet. I dont even know if its a boy or a girl.

UPDATE (7-22-07):
I named it Orange-Blossom after those orange and cream popsicles.

A new pet

Okay. Im crazy. I went out and bought a new pet. Not just any pet. A reptile pet, but not just any reptile. An orange creamsicle corn snake! I called around a few places to see if any pet shops had any corn snakes and one had a ghost and a classic and another shop had an orange creamsicle. A ghost corn snake would have been lovely, but my first corn snake love was a creamsicle so thats what I bought. I still havent picked a name for it yet. Im pretty much making a list which so far consists of: Citrine, Citra, Orange blossom, and Diable (french for devil [my last corn snake's name was diablo]), but I havent really decided. I will have to post pictures of the little darling later. Right now he/she is a little too shy to come out from under the reptile bark.

Cant go back

Ive decided that it probably wont work out between my ex and I. As much as I care about him I cant keep putting myself through the hurt and agrivation and it isnt fair of him to put me through it. He will probably go back to calling me all the time until something makes me decide to take his call or call him back. All I can do right now is pretend that I dont care. Its a real shame that it wouldnt work out, but I dont see much of a change in him at all. He still seems like the little boy that I dated before and I dont understand why he cant move on. His sister (one of my friends) thinks I put some kind of charm or spell on him that keeps him wanting me. I dont know about that one. I dont really know what to think. Part of my wants him, but the other part keeps saying "No, you silly girl. He just wants to use you. It will be the way it was when you were dating.". Things were so good when we first started dating.....for a few months anyway. He really wasnt appreciative of anything I did for him or bought for him. He doesnt even remember what I got him for Valentine's day and swears I didnt get him anything. If anyone of us didnt get anything from the other it was me. And he just stopped wanting to be around me and went God knows where all the time doing God knows what. I do know alcohol and drugs were involved and I dont really need that in my life. I just wish I could find a decent guy who was responsible, wasnt into drinking or drugs, appreciative, and caring. I wish he wouldve been more like that.

Again?

Well, my recent ex called yesterday while I was out and I decided to actually talk to him. Mum actually gave me the idea. I guess she figured that he must really want to talk to me and make things right if he kept calling as much as he did. So I decided to go see him and find out what he wanted. Things were very quiet. We sat up in his room and watched tv and talked during the commercials. He tried to be comforting and apologetic. Im not ready to get serious again especialy with someone who crossed me once. I figured I would atleast try to be his friend. If anything more than that happens it will be on me. If something goes wrong it will be my fault. He says he has changed......he hasnt had alcohol or pot in quite a while, but I dont know if I really swollow that easily. I will just have to keep a watch on it.

Rain of Loss

Raining inside my heart. Always so cold. Always so dark. Where have you gone to?
I try holding on to this feeling, but you slip away like water from my hands.
OOh, love, why did you leave me here feeling cold inside?
The rain keeps pouring down, drowning me.
How beautiful is the pain I feel like a rose in the dark.
Oh, my love, where have you gone? Am I left in the rain forever?

Oh my.....

Well, last night was interesting. I found out some stuff that my brother failed to tell me. Okay, last month he was arrested and had to pay a fine. He told me that some people he was with were drinking and fishing (but him and a few other guys werent drinking) and because they were all together the officer arrested all of them and suspended my bro's license (sp?) for....several months (he doesnt even have a permit). So I really didnt get why they would do that, but hey......its the police and I dont really understand why they do half the things they do. Last night I came home and mum was all "did you know your brother was arrested?" and I said yeah and told her what he told me. It seems he left out the part about the drugs and the pipe. The police had found drugs and when the guys wouldnt tell them who it belonged to the officer arrested them all. Mum is upset.....dad is upset......I am too. I just pretend not to be.
Lately it seems everything is just comming apart. My friends are growing apart from it it seems, mum isnt happy, dad wont pay her any "real" attention, and now this with my brother. I wish I could just stitch everything back together where it belongs, but it always seems as though I cant gather enough patches. I wish I could help mum and dad. I wish I could bring my friends closer to me again. I wish somehow I could get my bro out of this trouble.

Thoughts.....

So Im new to this site, Blogspot. Blog.......why does that sound yucky lol. Anyway, This is my first "blog" on here. So where should I start? Im just a regular person with a few interesting interests including music, body piercings, tattoos, art (drawing, painting.....) and corsetry.

My weekend was all right all except for the call from my recent ex. I broke up with him......a couple months ago and he keeps calling me and leaving me messages. Before anyone gets any thoughts I didnt break up with him because he wasnt fun or I didnt love him anymore. He was very fun and I loved him very much. I still cry when I hear his voice on my voicemail (sad isnt it?). I was just tired of being left alone all the time while he went out with his friends, got drunk and smoked God only knows what. For a full week he ignored me because he was busy getting trashed and he only saw me as a ball and chain. I didnt mind him hanging out with his friends I just wanted him to stay out of trouble, ya know. And then he started messing around with this very beautiful girl (yes, I will admit she was very pretty). As much as it hurt I broke up with him for my heart's sake. I was tired of hurting and crying and being alone. A month after breaking up with him.....after he blew me off to be with this other girl......after hearing nothing from him he finally calls me.....saying he misses me. Im sorry, but I cant go back to that. Every weekend he will call and leave a voice message which I try to delete before I can really hear it. I really wish he would just leave me alone and move on. He will only end up hurting himself and he is only keeping my wounds open. As soon as I think I can get on with my life there he is again and this is why my weekends usually arent as relaxing as I would like them to be. Four 10 hour days on concrete....standing in one place......I need to relax not be upset.
Even if I have a rat on my back I need to move on. Im still looking for someone. Im not sure how long its going to take to find them, but Im sure I will come across someone who will treat me right. And thats my thoughts.